5 Exercises to Boost Your Mental Strength

Building mental strength is about regulating your emotions, managing your thoughts, and behaving in a positive manner—despite your circumstances. Mental strength involves more than just will power; it requires hard work and commitment. Growing stronger requires you to establish healthy habits, while giving up unhealthy habits that could hold you back from becoming better.  

It’s easier to feel mentally strong when life seems simple—often, true mental strength becomes most apparent in the midst of adversity. Choosing to build mental muscle is the best way to prepare for life’s inevitable obstacles.

Many exercises exist that can help you develop mental strength. Here are 5 to get you started:

1. Evaluate Your Core Beliefs

We've all developed core beliefs about ourselves, our lives, and the world in general. Core beliefs develop over time and largely depend upon our past experiences. Whether you’re aware of your core beliefs or not, they influence your thoughts, behavior and emotions.

Sometimes, core beliefs are inaccurate and unproductive. For example, if you believe that you’ll never succeed in life, you may be less apt to apply for new jobs—and inadvertently, you may not present yourself well on job interviews. Therefore, your core beliefs may become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Identify and evaluate your core beliefs. Look for beliefs that are black and white, and then find exceptions to the rule. Very few things in life are “always” or “never” true. Modifying core beliefs requires purposeful intention and hard work, but it can change the entire course of your life.

2. Expend Your Mental Energy Wisely

Wasting brain power ruminating about things you can’t control drains mental energy quickly. The more you think about problems you can’t solve, the less energy you’ll have left over for more productive endeavors. Sitting and worrying about a major storm that’s headed your way won’t prevent it from happening. You can, however, choose to use your time and energy preparing for the storm.

Save your mental energy for productive tasks, such as solving problems and setting goals. When your thoughts aren't productive, make a conscious effort to shift your mental energy to more helpful topics. The more you practice expending your mental energy wisely, the more it will become a habit.

3. Replace Exaggeratedly Negative Thoughts with Realistic Thoughts

Although most of us don’t spend time thinking about our thoughts, increasing your awareness of your thinking habits proves useful in building resilience. Exaggeratedly negative thoughts, such as, “I can’t ever do anything right,” hold you back from reaching your full potential. Catch your negative thoughts before they spiral out of control and adversely influence your behavior. 

Identify and replace overly negative thoughts with thoughts that are more productive. Productive thoughts don’t need to be excessively positive, but should be realistic. A more balanced thought may be, “I have some weaknesses, but I also have plenty of strengths.” Changing your thoughts requires constant monitoring, but the process can be instrumental in helping you become your best self.

4. Practice Tolerating Discomfort

Being mentally strong doesn’t mean you don’t experience emotions. In fact, mental strength requires you to become acutely aware of your emotions so you can make the best choice about how to respond.

Sometimes it makes sense to behave contrary to your emotions. For example, if you experience anxiety that prevents you from trying new things or accepting new opportunities, try stepping out of your comfort zone to continue to challenge yourself. Tolerating uncomfortable emotions takes practice, but it becomes easier as your confidence grows.

Practice behaving like the person you’d like to become. Instead of saying, “I wish I could be more outgoing,” choose to behave in a more outgoing manner, whether you feel like it or not. Some discomfort is often necessary for greater gain, and tolerating that discomfort will turn your vision into a reality, one small step at a time.

5. Reflect on Your Progress Daily

Today’s busy world doesn't lend itself to making much time available for quiet reflection. Create time to reflect upon your progress toward developing mental strength. At the end of each day, ask yourself what you've learned about your thoughts, emotions and behavior. Consider what you hope to improve upon or accomplish tomorrow.

Developing mental strength is an ongoing process and there is always room for improvement. Reflecting upon your progress can reinforce your ability to reach your definition of success while living according to your values.

Amy Morin is a licensed clinical social worker and an internationally recognized expert on mental strength. Her new book, 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do: Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears, and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success(link is external), is filled with strategies and exercises to help you avoid those common pitfalls that can prevent you from reaching your full potential. 

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What This Stranger Did To Help A Homeless Man Is Inspiring Others

When Alex Camarillo helped a Houston homeless man he never dreamed that his good deed would inspire so many.

Alex was out shopping for truck and went to get something to eat when he noticed Stanley Long asking for money and food. He invited Stanley to come inside the restaurant and eat with him. Over lunch he learned that Stanley had left his job to care for his sick mother, but when she passed away, he ended up on the streets.

Alex spoke with USA Today and explains that he helped Stanley because he knows what it’s like to be broke and just felt like he needed to help.

Alex shared a few pictures and what he felt about meeting Stanley on his Facebook page in the hopes of inspiring others:

“I told him join me, sit with me, and eat with me. He couldn’t believe it, this man and I had an intellectual conversation, smarter then some of my friends.. People stared at me as in why was I eating with a homeless man you would be shocked at how people were looking and whispering and pointing and some even taking picture… He told me his story and, wow, life takes wild turns.”

“I then told him I was going to buy him clothes and I did. This man showed me the true meaning of happiness and being grateful. All I can say fb friends, if you have been blessed please help those in need. I’m sure if you were in need you would want someone to reach out and help…Please lets Pay it forward! Together we can make a difference!!”

I’m sure Alex’s act of kindness was very much appreciated by Stanley. It’s inspiring to see someone step forward and not only reach out to someone in need, but also to encourage others to do the same.

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12 Step Recovery Crash Course

When we first visit the rooms of 12 step-based recovery, every catchphrase is new, every shared story seems brilliant, and every tidbit of wisdom is potentially life-changing. For newcomers our tools remain as bedrocks of why recovery works. For old-timers they serve as welcome reminders to stay vigilant and prevent complacency.

Here are the basics:

Meetings are not the program.

Meetings are a place to connect with other addicts, to share and hear solutions, and to benefit from the experience, strength, and hope of those who are getting it right. They are not a substitute for working a program. You cannot get from hungry to full by skipping the meal. Attend meetings to find people who are actively working to stay clean and sober. Pick their brains, find out how they do it, and follow their example!

Get a sponsor and work the steps.

The steps give us insight and awareness about our motives, patterns, and capabilities. They help us identify our assets and liabilities. They teach us to set healthy boundaries and attract positive relationships. It is helpful to find a sponsor you can relate to – someone with a similar vocational field, life experience, or hobbies. Call five sober supports every day for a week. At the end of the week, you’ll know who your sponsor is. Sponsors should be age and gender appropriate, to avoid confusion and mixed signals. Someone of the same gender is more likely to come from a place with which you can identify, irrespective of sexual orientation. (Please note that sex and gender are not synonymous, and that there are rare exceptions who manage cross-gender sponsorship successfully.)

Immerse yourself.

Make recovery your first priority, your mission, your job. Speaking of jobs, imagine if all you did at work was show up and warm a chair. If you don’t do your work, you lose your job. The same goes for your recovery.  Invest as much energy and focus towards your recovery as you invested in your active addiction. Work for it.

Engage in fellowship.

Embrace social activities and see how addicts in recovery can have fun. If you’re on a budget, invite friends over to do a craft project, or share a potluck meal, or watch a movie. Go to a park or beach and have a picnic. Work out together. Start a volleyball game. Check your local newspaper for free activities. Go to a pet rescue facility and offer to walk the animals together. Browse the book store or the library and compare books of interest. If you have a small social budget, go out for pizza, ice cream, or coffee. Go bowling, visit a museum, window shop at the mall.

Stay busy.

Addicts need structure. Whether you’re right out of treatment, or you’ve been at this a while and gotten off-track with your program, it helps to make a one-week chart of your time to see how you spend it – to identify patterns and gaps.

Find a service commitment.

Make coffee, stack chairs, mop, be a greeter, give smiles, give hugs, take a trusted servant position, serve on a subcommittee (Many subcommittees have only a one day clean time requirement.).

Stay away from people who use.

Recognize the people who are still sick and suffering and give them a wide berth. Unconditional love and acceptance means offering support. It does not mean allowing yourself to be taken advantage of or used. Delete their phone numbers and avoid places where they hang out.

Stay connected.

Get at least two phone numbers every time you attend a meeting and call them within 24 hours. It helps to make a note to yourself about what someone looks like, or what you talked about.

Stay honest, open-minded, willing, humble, and teachable:

Practice honesty in all things. Be open-minded to new ideas; stay teachable. Be willing to try new methods; don’t criticize suggestions until you give them a fair chance.

Fight the insanity.

In recovery, we think of insanity as doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Step work provides awareness of these destructive behaviors.

Pray.

If you don’t have a connection to a Higher Power right now, then take psychologist Alfred Adler’s advice and “act as if.”  A Higher Power is any power greater than you. It only takes two people to make a meeting, and that is a power greater than you. Start there. If that’s as far as you get, it’s enough.

Take responsibility.

Own your choices, your actions, and your feelings. Whatever happened in the past, it’s time to live in the solution. That means letting go of blame and moving forward.

Always look at your part in things.

Whether you’re the victim or the perpetrator, you are always a participant.

Examine your motives.

Are you coming from a place of love or a place of ego?

Don’t judge.

People who judge don’t matter, and people who matter don’t judge. Take your own inventory and let other people worry about themselves. Making their business your business produces expectations. Expectations breed resentments.

Pay attention to your negative emotions.

Face your fears through step work; ignore it and it will fester. Confront anger or it will consume your energy. Indulging resentments will prevent you from carrying or hearing a message of recovery.

Don’t pick up, no matter what.

If you plan to pick up a drink, a drug, or an addictive behavior, pick up the phone instead – BEFORE you use, not after. You can get through anything for ten minutes. It takes less time than that to reach out to someone who can help you get through the next 24 hours or accompany you to a meeting. A meeting is somewhere you can go for a whole hour and not use. If you can make it through that hour, you can make it through the next one.

Embrace the slogans.

Sayings achieve slogan status because they resonate with millions of people. When obsessive and compulsive thinking renders you incapable of good judgment, slogans might save your life with their simplicity and common sense.

If you want what we have, do what we do.

If you want everything to change, change everything.

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

When the pain is great enough, you’ll do something about it.

Whatever you place before your recovery, you will lose.

At most meetings, addicts and alcoholics share what works for them. You’ll also hear what doesn’t work from the people who have relapsed. A relapse happens long before you pick up. There are signs. When people in chronic relapse share at a meeting, they all say the same things: “I stopped…I haven’t…I didn’t…” I stopped going to meetings and reading the literature. I haven’t taken a service commitment or finished my step work. I didn’t call my supports. I fired my sponsor. This program is so simple, it’s almost idiot-proof, but not if we make idiotic choices. Having some clean time doesn’t mean we’re exempt from making poor decisions. Working a program means we develop the ability to identify our decisions as healthy or dysfunctional. Through working the steps and using the tools, we recover our lives.

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10 Habits of Unhappy People

“Ego says, ‘Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.’ Spirit says, ‘Find your peace, and then everything will fall into

place.’” ~Marianne Williamson

Have you ever felt that something was missing in your life?Who am I kidding, everyone has.I used to be unhappy. But not just unhappy—miserable.

I’d look at other people and wonder what they had that I didn’t. I was sick of living my life. And being sick of it was the tipping point that changed it all. It’s what got me moving in the direction of what made my heart sing.
As I moved forward, I discovered that what was making me miserable wasn’t outside of me, but the habits I had built up over the years.
I’d like to share with you what those habits were, and how I overcame them.


1. Waiting for clarity.

I thought that in order to do what I loved and be happy, I had to know where I was going.Turns out that was a mirage. It was a thought that I believed.When I took action despite feeling confused, and simply did my best, I discovered that I could always take one step forward, clarity or no clarity.
It was like walking in a heavy fog. As long as I kept moving forward, more of my path revealed itself. But if I stood still, nothing would happen.

Fix: Don’t wait for clarity. Listen to your heart, and take one tiny step forward. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

2. Seeking permission from others.

I wanted others to tell me I was on the right track. The more I did this, the emptier I felt inside.
Why? Because I was giving my power away. Instead of listening to my own guidance system, I was relying on someone else.
It was confusing and dis-empowering. I’ve never had an easy time just trusting life. I worry a lot. But over the years, I’ve realized that trusting myself is the only way toward living a fulfilling life.Once I stopped trying to seek permission, or figure things out, my inner wisdom grew stronger, because it was no longer clouded by thoughts.

Fix: Don’t look to someone else for validation for your dreams. Go after what makes you come alive. That’s enough.

3. Hoping for future salvation.

Another unhelpful habit I have is living in the future, thinking that reaching my goals will make me happier.However, I’ve noticed that once again, this is just a thought that I give power to.I’ve also noticed that I’ve reached plenty of goals that I thought would make me happy, but didn’t.
Like me, you’ve probably heard the following phrase over and over again: “Happiness comes from the inside. It’s available right here, right now.”
For a long time, I wondered, “That’s all fine and good, but how do I use that in my life?”
The answer was to witness my thoughts, and let them pass by. I don’t have to believe in every thought that tells me that the future holds the key to my happiness.
Once I let those thoughts pass, I notice that there’s a source of joy within, always available to me.


Fix: When you find yourself living in the future, just notice what you’re doing. Let go of the tendency and observe what’s going on. This is a practice, so don’t worry if you don’t get it perfect.

4. Wanting to take big leaps.

When I get caught up in thinking that the future will save me, I want to take big leaps. I want to hurry to my goal.
Yet this behavior makes reaching my goal less likely. It introduces sloppiness into my work. It produces an aroma of selfishness.
But, if I let things take their time, and if I let those thoughts pass, there’s a sense of peace.
As I write this, I’m not in a hurry. I sense the wanting to finish, but I witness it. I don’t get involved. Then I return my focus to writing, and letting the words flow on paper.And my soul smiles. My heart nods. My breath deepens.
I remember: “This is it. This is life.”
Fix: Big leaps assume that happiness is in the future. Take a deep breath. Notice how much happiness is available right now. No big leaps needed, just a remembering of who you are.

5. Having faulty expectations.

For a long time, I chased after the belief that I could eliminate negativity from my life.
But every day does not have to be a happy day.
Life is sometimes difficult. The problem isn’t the difficulty, but how I relate to it. If I think it shouldn’t be there, I suffer.
Again, it comes down to my thinking. Life is as it is; my thinking gives me my experience of life.
When I notice my expectations, I can let them be. This doesn’t mean I don’t feel the sting of something I label as bad; it simply means that I don’t have to pour more gasoline in the fire.
I can’t control life, but I can control how I use my attention.
I don’t have to change my thoughts; just notice what’s going on, and how I’m creating my experience of the present moment.

Fix: Notice how your expectations make you unhappy. Bring your attention to this moment. Do the best you can with what you have.

6. Taking your thoughts seriously.

“You’re not good enough.”
“You’ll end up homeless if you follow your heart.”

“What will people think of you?”We all have thoughts that freak us out.
 Yet I have days when I don’t care about those thoughts.
So what’s different between the good days and the bad days? Simply my state of being. When I feel good, my emotional immune system is more stable.I remember that my feelings are simply an indication of how trustworthy my thinking is. When I feel bad, it’s a sign that I need to take my thinking less seriously.
When I feel good, that’s when I can solve problems. But often I find that problems solve themselves, if I’m willing to get out of the way.
So what I’m repeating over and over again is the fact that it’s our thinking that makes us unhappy, not our circumstances.

Fix: Experiment with taking your thinking less seriously for sixty seconds at a time. See what happens and how you feel.

7. Playing things safe.

When I push the boundaries of my comfort zone, I tend to get anxious, afraid, and worried.
But after a while, the discomfort becomes comfortable. It becomes familiar.
What changed? My thinking.
When I let anxious thoughts pass, eventually my thinking returns to normal. But if I try to figure things out, I prolong the “healing” process.
I’ve realized that to be fulfilled in life, I have to grow and challenge myself. To do that, I need to step outside my comfort zone. I have to stop playing things safe.
There are no guarantees in this world.
All I can do is follow my heart and be aware of my thinking. That’s it. I’ll have scary thoughts, but that’s okay. I can still take one tiny step forward.

Fix: Become aware of the fact that being outside of your comfort zone is simply believing a different set of thoughts. You can always listen to your heart, and take the next step.

8. Focusing on lack.

I can have wonderful relationships, do work I love, and have life go swimmingly.
But if one thing goes wrong, and I focus on it, I make myself miserable.
And the thing about life is that there will always be something “wrong.”
The key to happiness isn’t to get rid of your problems, but to learn to live with them. To notice how your thinking gets you in trouble.
This doesn’t mean I neglect problems. It means that I don’t stress over them. I solve them as well as I can, but I don’t try to force solutions.
I’ve noticed that when I stop thinking, I allow my inner wisdom to help me. I often get solutions to problems when I’m not thinking, such as when I’m on a walk, washing dishes, meditating, or in the shower.

I do my best, and then I let go.

Fix: Notice your tendency to focus on the thoughts that tell you something is wrong. Rest your attention in the witness of those thoughts. You are not them. You can observe them, and breathe.

9. Resisting obstacles.

For years, I ran away from challenges because I saw them as obstacles to getting what I want.
And I thought getting what I wanted would make me happy.
But then something changed: I saw that these obstacles weren’t obstacles, but stepping stones helping me follow my calling.
Instead of remaining in the habit of resisting obstacles, I get curious. I ask myself: What can I learn from this?
Everything seems to have a purpose.
The more I surrender to life, the more powerful I become. And to me, this surrender simply means not trying to figure everything out, or trying to control life.

Fix: Don’t fight life. Embrace life. Become curious about the problems in your life. Don’t rush to fix them. Let them be for a while and notice the results.

10. Neglecting your calling.

Perhaps the biggest obstacle to happiness is neglecting your calling.
When I neglect my heart, my purpose, my inner wisdom, I become miserable.
And the way I neglect my calling is through thinking too much. Thinking that something is wrong, or that I’m on the wrong track.
When I notice this mental habit, I let it be, and I take a deep breath.
To follow my calling, I have to let go of what I think my path looks like.
I can’t figure out where my life is going, I can only live it one moment at a time. That’s scary to my mind, but that’s okay. I can let thoughts pass, and I can rest my attention in my heart.

Fix: Let go of what you think your life should be, and let it become what it was meant to be. Live life one moment at a time. It’s all you can do anyway.

–

Happiness is not something you get, but something you are. What’s stopping you from being happy is taking your thoughts too seriously.

You have wisdom within you, waiting to guide you. All you have to do is let go and observe how you stop yourself from accessing it.

It’s not easy. It’s a practice. Sometimes it takes time.

But notice that even the rush to get it right is a thought. Let it be.

Do your best.

Follow your heart.

And remember to breathe.

Source: “10 Habits of Unhappy People ” from tinybuddha.com, by Henri Junttila

Photo credit: maria del carmen gomez

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This Girl Did This After The Boy At School Twanged Her Bra. What Followed Is Gold.

This story may anger you, but you should also be happy to read about these woman standing up for themselves. Women should not have to stand to deal with these as adults, so why allow this to happen when they’re children? (Source)

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5 Toxic Behaviors You Shouldn't Tolerate From Others

If you are trying to create a better life for yourself, it’s a good idea to evaluate the people you are close with to make sure they don’t exhibit any chronic, toxic behaviors.



Toxic behaviors are not only unpleasant to be around, but left unchecked, the negativity they likely elicit from you can snowball and bleed into all areas of your life. It’s hard to be positive and optimistic when you are in a relationship that isn’t good for your soul.

Here are 5 behaviors you shouldn’t tolerate from others. We all can be a little negative from time to time, so please don’t assume that everyone you are close to must be “perfect” and never do any of these things. However, if you are close with someone who exhibits toxic behaviors on a consistent basis, you might want to consider removing yourself from the relationship:


1) Gossip

Avoid relationships that center around gossip. As has famously been said: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Quality relationships are based on an exchange of ideas and excitement; this is what helps us grow, evolve and achieve our dreams.

2) Backhanded compliments

Backhanded compliments are a form of passive aggression (e.g. “it’s nice to meet someone who doesn’t care about the way they look” or “I don’t care what they say, you’re alright”). These hidden insults come from people who are radiating low vibrational energy. Good relationships will only uplift you with kind and genuine feedback.

3) Competitiveness

Constantly being one-upped or having someone nip at your heels is not healthy. People who are happy for your successes and confident in their own accomplishments are the only ones capable of providing you with quality support. The only person anyone should be competing with is himself or herself.

4) One-sidedness

Individuals who only come around when it suits them or who demand that things should always be done their way will likely leave you feeling marginalized and unloved. Good relationships demonstrate a solid balance of compromise and mutual respect.

5) Pointing out your flaws

Being close with someone who tells humiliating stories about you, criticizes your looks or likes to post ugly pictures of you on social media can be damaging to your self-esteem. The best friends and lovers will focus on your positive qualities and care about your feelings.

If you feel that you are in a relationship with someone who exhibits toxic behaviors, you might want to think about distancing yourself from it. Even if you find that you can’t fully end the relationship you will benefit from pulling away a bit and resolving to spend more time with people who are good for your soul.

You deserve to be happy and you deserve to be respected. Anyone who tries to make you feel otherwise should be held at arm’s length.


Source: “5 Toxic Behaviors You Shouldn’t Tolerate From Others,” from raiseyourvibrationtoday.com, by Andrew Kuznetsov

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Refuse Other People’s Garbage

Avoid head trash. Don’t be a garbage can for anything that does not feed your intellect, stimulate your imagination, or make you a more compassionate peaceful person. Refuse to open your mind to other people’s trash. Tune out anything that promotes conflict. This can infect you with a mind virus of cynicism or defeat and you won’t even know it!— Les Brown

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10 Most Heartwarming Anonymous Notes. #8 is Mind Blowing

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15 Students That Outsmarted Their Teachers. Number 10 is brilliant..

These students were a bit too clever for their poor teachers.

Which one is your favorite?

1. Eye of Sauron.

2. Agreed!

3. What is love?

4. Don't forget to work on your alcoholism!

5. If everything in school was this easy.

6. Yeah why not!

7. How do you change centimeter to meters?

8. Racism

9. Come on Brian..

10. Bob has diabetes

11. You go girl!

12. Very true son, very true.

13. I'd allow it

14. The Hunger Games

15. Touché

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Natures Perfect Motivational Speech Without Speaking a Word

You may be feel down and in need of motivation.Here is nature way to giving a prefect motivational speech without speaking a word by its action

We Grow in idle conditions but we develop  our self  by growing in adverse conditions.Just like nature dont give up but adapt to condition.Your progress may be slow at time or seem impossible but believe me every step in right direction will pay later.Take inspiration from all these wonderful creations of nature.

Take chances to develop not only Grow

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She Saw The World Through Glass Jar - The Result Is Priceless

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